Laos: 24th-30th June.

The next 2 days were spent on a slow boat, drifting south on the mighty Mekong River to Luang Prabang. After border formalities we piled onboard and sat down onto seating that seemed as if it had been lifted out of an aeroplane! On our first day we stopped to visit a hill tribe community, which felt slightly awkward, but the children were lovely and eager to have their picture taken.

Late in the afternoon there was huge thunderstorms so we moored ashore with the plastic shutters down to wait it out while singing Queen with full ferocity. A funny memory- apparently, Matt saw lightening struck the mud just a few metres away, apparent by the scream he made! That evening we stopped in the small town of Pak Beng in nice, clean accommodation even though the generator cut out daily between 10.30pm and 6.30pm the following day that made for a considerably hot nights sleep due to the lack of air con/fans. For dinner we feasted on Lao beer and sesame covered seaweed, a local delicacies even if ants covered the table. Jess wasn’t feeling too well so headed to bed early. The next day we re-boarded our boat and cruised down to Pak Ou caves filled with thousands of Buddha carvings and images. On the way we saw a wild elephant by the side of the river complete with tusks, which was very exciting. Early evening we arrived into Luang Prabang the former Royal capital of Laos. That evening we decided what we wanted to do throughout our stay in Luang Prabang which was made a little tricky by Yin (the crappest tour guide ever) who was incredibly impatient and rude because he wanted to leave us to eat, oh yes, this was the start of some startling behavioural performances which would continue throughout the trip. On the 26th June, we parted ways for the day. Armelle got up early for a half a day of elephant riding and half a day of kayaking. The elephants were lovely but the kayaking was possible the best thing Armelle did in Southeast Asia. Paddling through the Mekong Valley was simple beautiful with the occasional water buffalo and fisherman startled by our presence. On a couple of times we came face to face with groups of giggling children who seemed to be convinced that it was their mission in life to capsize the kayaks! The day ended with an incredible rainstorm, which required much leaping out of kayaks and running across a huge bridge bare foot.

Meanwhile, Jess had an equally rememberable time, and headed on a handy crafts tour and renting out a bike with the boys to explore the French colonial town. To Jesses embarrassment the boys we on a mission to buy monk robes and insisted that they would wear their purchases on the plane on the way home. Jess decided to wait outside the shop while they were being instructed how to assemble the outfit.

That evening we had a girly group dinner accompanied by a couple of stray cats! We then browsed the local night market, which was fantastic, and full of tasteful handicrafts from wall hangings to wallets- oh how we wish that these rare treats of high quality goods were evident in all markets in SE Asia! On our last full day in the area before flying south to Vientiane, we hopped on a ‘jumbo’ to Kuang Si falls where pale turquoise waters cascade over the limestone formations. After clambering halfway up the falls for a photography session, we headed to one of the pools at the base for a refreshing dip, and boy, was it cold! A couple of local kids showed off their Tarzan impersonations in front of an applauding crowd. At the entrance to the falls was a sanctuary for black bears that had been rescued from cruel homes. They seemed to be having a wail of a time play fighting even though you cannot help but feel that they would be better off in the wild. In the afternoon, we climbed to the top of Mount Phoussi, which provides fantastic views over the town and valley. The remainder of the afternoon was spent on the internet (somewhat of an unreliable connection due to regular power cuts) and ended the day with a lovely bbq where we were staying- a perfect staggering distance to bed! The next morning we paid a speedy visit to the Royal Palace Museum, which has remained, untouched since the royal family departed in 1975. It was time to say goodbye to our Lao guide, Chan, who we had all taken a shine to. We then took a short flight to Vientiane after an unexplained delay. Vientiane is possibly the most laid back, relaxed and slow paced capital city to exist on planet earth. Due to the love of markets, a group of us hastily walked into town with the excitement of potential bargains in our minds! However, the market was a bit of a let down as mainly sold household goods and clothes of the latest Lao fashion. To make the most of being in that end of town, we headed to the arc de triumph replica. This was the most hilarious monument ever to be seen. Constructed out of unused concrete from the local airport, the plaque outside had no shame in calling it a monster of concrete. That evening we dinner at a local outdoors restaurant, close to the river. The next day was Buddha park day and what fun we had! A lengthy tuk tuk ride away from the capital, nestled into the side of a river was the sculpture park. The park is filled with mutated Buddha statues- fancy putting a snake’s head and horses legs on a Buddha and hey presto- we have a statue. Sam, Matt, Vicky and the two of us had a great time clambering onto and ridiculing the monstrosities, its nice to see some light hearted artwork! After a lazy afternoon we went out to dinner en mass and afterwards, Val, Sam, Matt and Armelle decided to embrace the local night life and danced the night away in a roof top club, part of one of the huge fancy hotels in Vientiane, ladyboys and prostitutes a plenty! Needless to say, the next day, 4 of the 10 had very sore heads, probably not the best combination with a windy bus ride to Hin Boun. After a day of driving through the spectacular mountain scenery and some projectile vomiting from Val, we arrived in the village. To end the day, we took a boat ride along the breathtakingly beautiful river in old soldered together bombshells. That evening we stayed with a local family and after eating a delicious home cooked dinner we settled into our mosquito net covered beds. Throughout the night, it rained and it rained and it rained! When we woke, after a quick wet dash to the outside loo it had come to our notice that there had been a large landslide at the end of the road and we were all closed in! With our bags hoisted on our backs and makeshift rain covers in full swing we then waded through the mud and over the embankment of earth to the main road, with several peoples shoes falling victim to the squelching mud. We then climbed into a tuk tuk to complete our journey to the Vietnamese border, singing at first but after an hour or so, we started to feel a little sorry for ourselves due to being soaked through!

Thailand: 21st-23rd June.

We arrived into Bangkok from Kuala Lumpur early afternoon on the 20th June. Full of adrenaline and backpacker spirit we decide to forgo the easy option of getting a taxi to the hotel where we would be meeting our group later that evening. So we clambered onboard the express bus with the false illusion that it would speed us into the centre of Bangkok. So we were swiftly delivered to the transportation centre- what, where? After some confusing conversations with a group of bus drivers, we were hustled onto a bus. After about half an hour we were deep into the depths of the city with no clue where to get off! After buying out ticket from the best ticket dispenser ever- a long metal tube that opened and shut quicker than you could ever imagine containing a whole rainbow of reels of tickets- we stepped of the bus and told that we needed to get another one. Once on board this bus we were told that it was not the right one. At this point we came to the safe conclusion that Thais do not speak as much English as we had ignorantly presumed. We then decided that we had tried our best as far as using the local buses was concerned and opted for a taxi. Typically, the taxi driver did not have a clue where it was that we wanted to go and after much pointing to numerous sheets of paper and card, he phoned the hotel- a very sensible option we thought! Once at the Grandville in Chinatown we had a quick nab in preparation to meet our Intrepid group, our companions for the next 29days. We snoozed for half an hour that even though it was rather lengthy, our impromptu journey cost about an 8th of the price of getting a taxi from the airport direct to the hotel- result! The first impressions of our group were interesting especially of our group leader, a relationship that went particularly sour, especially with Armelle. After a group dinner on Khao San Road we decided to have a stroll around the favoured backpacker hangout. We were very pleased to feast our eyes on a Boots! We then bumped into Rhian and James completely by surprise. We knew that they were in Bangkok but really didn’t think we would see them. We had a couple of drinks at an assortment of waterholes along Khao San while the rest of our group retired to bed. The next day was officially the first full day of our tour. We set off in the morning for a long tail boat tour of Bangkok’s famous klongs, obviously feeding some giant thrashing catfish on our way!

We then visited the huge reclining Buddha at Wat Po with the most intricate mother of pearl detail on its feet. Unfortunately, our guide was rather hard to understand.

In the sweltering heat we then made our way to the grand palace, which was utterly stunning, with great overbearing warriors grimacing at us at every opportunity.

We then trundled along to Khao San road to good old Johnny Walker to sample the Thai curries. We then met back at the hotel at 4pm to dubiously make our way to the train station to board our 14-hour sleeper train to Chiang Mai. With the joys of the Indian overnight train being relatively fresh in our minds, we braced ourselves to experience cockroach covered pillows and a night of foot fumbling, however the Thais seem to do it best! Rather than in cabins, the beds lined the corridor and a couple of hours into the journey or when you requested it, a lady came to assemble and make the beds with fresh linen and a smile! There were even little shelves to place bedside belongings, oh, and a little light! Jess opted for the top bunk and the other of the duo enjoyed a comfortable nights sleep beneath her.

In the morning, we woke to calm Thai countryside, bright green, backed by rolling hills. Once in Chiang Mai we clambered onboard the awaiting vehicles and the sleepy passengers headed off to breakfast. We then continued onto the People Place guesthouse and prepared ourselves for the day ahead. Unfortunately we only had one full day and night in Chiang Mai due to the greediness of wanting to see 4 countries in 1 month! We spent the morning exploring the main temples in the city along with Vicky, Anna and Sarah. The 2-hour excursion set us back a hefty £1.50 each! Each of the temples was very different.

One had been ruined by an earthquake with a fat red sitting Buddha tucked away behind it, the other had a ton of philosophical meanings printed on green plaques hanging from the trees with the sound of school pupils playing the drums filling the air.

The other was being restored with a clay dragon being skilfully carved at its entrance. Chiang Mai is a walled city and for lunch we were dropped at the main gate. Due to sheer laziness, we ate at the nearest establishment- the Black Canyon Café where the iced coffees were fantastic even if they did contain an obscene amount of calories. That afternoon, we settled on different activities to end our day. Jess headed off for a cooking class at the well renowned Chiang Mai cookery school where ingredients were freshly purchased from the neighbouring market. Armelle decided upon some down time and was on a mission to experience to apparent delights of a Thai message. The massage was an experience to say the least with limbs being pulled, pushed and pummelled all over the place. Due to Armelles incredibly dire foot condition- oh yes, the crustiness has been present since Singapore- every time the soles were glanced open, a wave of embarrassment engulfed her. We then spent the evening wandering through the colourful stalls of the night bazaar, restricting ourselves as much as possible. However, a bag of lychees and a string of hanging light were most definitely necessary purchases. Our group leader Yin then suggested that we jump onboard a red-fire-truck tuk tuk and go for a drink at the Monkey Club, a popular destination for students.

On arrival, the bar was packed with all eyes and ears on a local, interesting sounding band. Once we found a vacant table, we ordered our drinks and were promptly serenaded by a group of ladyboys as Vicky and Jess had ordered 2 for 1 Malibu and cokes. You are supposed to order bottles of spirits and share them amongst your group of friends by the emptying bottles present on other tables. A very enthusiastic British English teacher then came to join us, one of Yins friends- we ended up wishing he were our guide instead.

The next morning we trundled off to Doi Suthep before going on our way to Chiang Khong, a border town a 7-hour bus ride away. Doi Suthep is a mountain temple and on our way up, we overtook 15,000 Chaing Mai university students. Different brightly coloured t-shirts were worn by members of different subject, lead by students in the year above them. It was such a sight to see all the thousand of students marching there way up the mountain as their yearly tradition, we felt like cheats being in a bus. Once off the bus, we walked up a steep fight of steps to reach our temple destination with the staircase being guarded by huge dragonheads.

There were fantastic views of the city from the top and our guide spoke brilliant English. Each of our group were blessed by the monks in the form of a white string bracelet tied around our wrists. We then departed on our way to the Thai border town. For our lunch we stopped at the Cabbages and Condoms Restaurant. The restaurant, supported by the government, promotes family planning, and it was quite a novelty to see large condom shaped statues dotted around the grounds. We then continued on our way and stopped at the White Temple, possibly the most fantasy imitating/disgusting building you could ever set your eyes upon. The temple was relatively new and was basically white washed with tiny segments of mirror stuck all over it. A red painted skull with an empty bottle of wine stuck onto it marked the entrance- we were not exactly sure what this was supposed to mean. Before you crossed the bridge to the temple, the was a pool, which consisted of numerous plaster cast arms reaching out of it- it was like a scene out of a horror film. In its defence, from afar it did look as if it had been plucked from a fairytale. We eventually arrived at our accommodation for the night that overlooked the Mekong River into Laos. The guesthouse was not so nice, starting with a monkey tied up outside. Our room was relatively clean but unfortunately Sarah was severely savaged by bed bugs in the night. We enjoyed a group dinner to commemorate our last night in Thailand.

Darwin: 5th-10th June.

On our first day in Darwin, we headed out to Litchfield National Park. While in Cairns, we had arranged a package with Peter Pan's which took care of our excursion to Litchfield and Kakadu National Parks as well as our accommodation when in Darwin. Once on board the bus, Armelle met Tory, the first person she had met from Chichester while traveling! After chatting away with Tory and our fellow group members, we reached the park with the termite mounds being our first stop. The Cathedral mounds are huge and they grow by a meter every 10 years above and 10 meters below ground.

The troop inside consist of the Queen, the workers and the soldiers who defend the mound from the nasty ants! In the neighboring floodplain were the magnetic termite mounds which from a distance look like tomb stones. The mounds are incredibly narrow and are aligned from north to south so that each side of the mound make full use of the sun, warming the easterly side until midday when it is then the westerly side’s turn to warm up- so clever! We then each took it in turns to capture an ant and lick their bums! Basically, their bums are green and taste of citric acid.

We then made our way to several different waterfalls: Wangi, Florence and Tolmer Falls but we are not exactly sure what order they were in! The first was absolutely stunning and impressive as we viewed the fall from a distance. From the outcrop we had glorious views of the surrounding bush land.

The next fall was a twin set where large ‘closed’ signs indicated that the presence of crocodiles illuminated any possibility of swimming.

We then feasted on sandwiches before leisurely swimming in a plunge pool at the base of another fall. A red brick road then led us back up through the bush to the bus. Our final stop was Burley Rock Hole where basking in the sun and bomb dives were perfected by all! Once back in Darwin we headed to the Vic Pub with our free dinner vouchers and then did a quick detour to the local supermarket on the way back to the hostel.

The next day we decided to get to grips with Darwin city centre. This therefore of course included a spot of shopping. Amongt the shopping we made a quick phone call to Kakadu Dreams to make sure that it was all go for the trip leaving the next day. The lady then informed us that the 3 day trip had been cancelled as we were the only ones on it! Therefore, the trip had been pushed back a day which meant that we had to do a 2 day trip instead of a 3 day one as we were due to fly out on Sunday. Once we were refunded the difference, a miffed pair was comforted by coffee and cake. We then realized that we should actually sort out our malaria tablets for the next part of our trip in SE Asia. After visiting a couple of unhelpful pharmacists who informed that we couldn’t buy the tablets over the counter and that we would have to see a doctor to get a prescription, we were given a leaflet for a travel health clinic. After making an appointment, we return an hour later to see the medic who supplied us with a box of pills and put our minds at rest! That evening we watched Little Miss Sunshine at the deckchair cinema, quote ‘where stars light the screen’. We then popped to the Wisdom pub for a couple of amazing cocktails!

The following day, Armelle turned the ripe old age of 23. As the Kakadu trip had been postponed, we were both determined to slot together a number of activities to make it a day to remember, and gee, an amount of things we did do! First stop, Aquascene. Right, while traveling, Armelle has become mildly obsessed with sighting fish and therefore why not pay to feed fish with stale bread on Darwin sea front- brilliant! There were several hundreds of fish present on the morning of the 7^th, including large swarms of milk fish and cat fish. Next, we ambled down the road for half an hour in sweltering heat to Cullum Bay, one of the posh harbor areas in Darwin. Here, feeling a little underdressed we dined for 3 hours at the Buzz Café enjoying salads, squid, chocolate mousse and macadamia tart which was accessorized with rather over excited sparklers! This was the first time on our travels where we completely splashed out on a meal and we loved every minute of it. We then decided to add a touch of France to the day and went to see J’aime Paris at the cinema. Seeing as it was 4 pm we were the only 2 in there. The film was interesting, arty and definitely quirky! Then it was time for the night market which is held twice a week, every Thursday and Sunday. So off we trotted back down the road where we spent the evening browsing at the stalls, sampling the local cuisine and admiring the didgeridoo performing people! After a brief stop at the casino to make a phone call we headed to the Wisdom, the same pub that we had frequented the previous evening. The cocktails did not disappoint with cream based concoctions and strawberry daiquiris perfectly ending the day.

The morning of the 8^th June we were picked up bright and early to start our Kakadu trip, which was unfortunately to be only a two day adventure instead of a three day one. We started the journey with Jess having the mickey taken out of her for bringing our pink flowery plastic plates in the back of the 4X4 to dry them after breakfast, as the hostel didn’t have a tea towel. After making polite conversation with our ‘trip pals’, we arrived at the first stop: ‘Jumping Crocodiles’. Before the start of the river cruise, we both got to hold snakes, something we had been debating over doing at the Oz zoo. Jess was not expecting to be uncomfortable holding it, but when the time came she didn’t enjoy the experience much, even though she didn’t panic or anything. Armelle seemed quite happy holding the snake.

When it came to the ‘Crocodile Jumping Cruise’, we were both a little more than dubious, as dangling pieces of meat from a boat didn’t seem like the most ecologically friendly of tourist gimmicks. Knowing the efforts that the Canadians make to keep human food away from bears so that they do not associate it with humans, we wondered what they would have made of this. Anyway, turning a blind eye to this, the cruise turned out to be quite good fun, and it was very interesting to be able to get so close to wild crocodiles. We spent most of the trip on the lower deck, so that we were eyeball-to-eyeball with the crocs. Some of those crocs who didn’t make enough effort to get the meat were left ‘hungry’ as the tour guide kept informing us that he ‘didn’t want to waste our time’.

The second part of the trip consisted of Kestrel feeding. It was also amazing to see these beautiful birds swoop and catch the meat, though again of doubtful ecological morals. After this, we continued driving south, and admired the wildlife in a wetland area. Stopping for lunch next to a beautiful meandering river, (which we had first crossed in the 4X4), we feasted on sandwiches and watched the birds, who in turn watched us eat.

The next stop was a visit to an Aboriginal art site, where we were treated to over 20 000 years of rock paintings. It was remarkable to see the development of these paintings, which went from simple paintings to much more complex ones showing even the bones inside the animals, and which were said to have a more educational purpose. There were also pictures from Aboriginal mythology, which were often lessons for the Aboriginal children too.

On the way to our camp, we stopped to collect firewood (Jess and Armelle had images of us wielding saws, but in fact the timber was easy to gather owing to a tropical cyclone which had ripped through the area a few years ago). On the way through the park we came across many fires too, which had been lit intentionally by park rangers in order to reduce the risk of massive uncontrolled bushfires later on in the season.

This was a practice carried out by the Aboriginal peoples, who use ‘floral indicators’ to determine the time of year that the fires should be lit to avoid damaging the most fauna. After collecting the firewood, we stopped once more to appreciate the sunset over a vast expanse of lowland, and with chilled beer/cider in hand it was almost perfect!

On arriving at camp, we dined surprisingly well on kangaroo, buffalo sausages, jacket potatoes roasted on the camp fire and stir fried vegetables. Our guide had been a chef at one point, and it showed! Throughout the evening Armelle was presented with a cake and a bottle of bubbly for her birthday, both of which were consumed with relish by all on the trip, and the evening continued in this manner until all the beers were finished and everyone was very sociable! We even had visitors from another trip that was going on, who were staying in the same site, and our guide, Cameron, got out his ‘firesticks’ (flaming batons) and proceeded to do a very impressive show. He was fine, it was just when everyone else started trying it that they blackened their t-shirts. Well, almost. After a try on the didgeridoo, which is actually easy to play, and difficult to get more than one note out of, we headed for bed in our tents which were more like structured mosi-nets, but it was nice to be directly beneath the stars and hear the wind rushing through the trees. How romantic!

The next morning Armelle woke with a somewhat sore head, not exactly in the best state for the day’s activities, which started off with a walk along an old hunting track to a very pleasant plunge pool just above Motor Car Falls, where we enjoyed an early morning swim in the (thankfully) not so freezing water. We were pleased to be told that the crocodiles had been removed by rangers earlier in the season, though there the lurking doubt in the back of our minds was hard to shake off. After a quick look at the billabong where a scene from Crocodile Dundee was filmed, we headed to another waterfall, which, unfortunately for Armelle, was preceded by a 150m-or so vertical ascent. This did, however, mean that the views of the flat land below from the pool at the top were incredible. The pool had a narrow lip, over which the water cascaded, and we were duly warned not to attempt to cross it, as two people had already died doing so. This was an excellent place to have lunch and bask in the sun, so we took full advantage of the opportunity.

On the return journey we paused to look at some termite mounds which Armelle was delighted with. These were a different type of termite to those we had come across in Litchfield, as they were almost conical, and built to withstand flooding in that area.

We also stopped at a place to fill up (once more) on petrol, and to our great amusement the pub connected with the garage had the buffalo from Crocodile Dundee stuffed and on a pedestal, so of course we had our photograph taken with it.

There was also an enormous crocodile in a glass cabinet, and there was much debate over whether the taxonomist’s plaque was real or not. The last stop of the day was at an Aboriginal shop. Since none of us were tempted to buy a didgeridoo, some of us contented ourselves with holding more of the pet snakes. One of the less healthy looking ones in a glass cage had apparently been hit by a car earlier in the week and duly ‘rescued’. Arriving back at our hostel, we had what felt like half a minute to get clean, and what a job that was- the red dust which had coated quite literally everything we owned had got everywhere, and there were points when we were even inhaling the stuff even whilst sitting in the back of the 4X4. Anyway, that evening we ‘cashed’ our meal vouchers at the infamous pub ‘The Vic’. We ate with the rest of the group, and continued the evening with fun and frolics, freely volunteering members of our group to go up and win us rounds of beer much to their disapproval, but entering wholeheartedly into the spirit of the evening, which was a late one, let’s just say that.

The next morning, after a fantastic last night in Darwin, we were both suffering from acute headaches, so we stumbled to McDonald’s (of all places), after which we lazed around in the park avoiding the direct sunlight until our flight to Singapore in the evening.